In today’s high-paced world, stress has become an everyday experience for many of us. Whether from work, relationships, or the relentless pressure to keep up, stress affects our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. But what exactly is stress, and how can we manage it effectively? In this post, inspired by the recent podcast episode, we’ll explore the different stages of stress, common stress responses, and tools to help you reclaim balance and calm in your life.

What is Stress?

Stress is a natural response to challenges and threats, triggering a range of physical and emotional reactions. However, not all stress is harmful. Short-term stress, like meeting a deadline or preparing for an event, can be energizing and even empowering. It’s when stress becomes prolonged or overwhelming that it can drain our energy, impact our health, and lead to burnout.

Understanding the different stages of stress can help us recognize when it’s time to make changes or take action.

The Three Stages of Stress

Stage 1: Short-Term, Healthy Stress This type of stress motivates us to complete tasks and meet obligations. It’s manageable and often gives us a sense of control, as we can act to meet our goals.
Stage 2: Medium-Term Stress When stress lasts for weeks or months, like a long-term project or a period of life change, it can begin to strain our body’s resources. Our thyroid and adrenal glands help us push through, but if the stress isn’t aligned with our values or is purely for external validation, it can start to feel exhausting.
Stage 3: Long-Term, Chronic Stress Prolonged stress can lead to complete burnout, where the body is so depleted that even simple tasks feel overwhelming. Chronic stress is often accompanied by feelings of hopelessness, physical symptoms, and a lack of energy. Healing from this stage requires a major lifestyle change and a reevaluation of beliefs and values.

Our Go-To Responses to Stress: Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn

We all have natural reactions to stress, which vary based on our past experiences, personality, and even our energy type. Common responses include:

Flight: A desire to escape the situation. This may come with feelings of anxiety, as if the only solution is to leave or avoid the stressor.
Fight: Confronting the stress directly, often with anger or determination.
Freeze: Shutting down, feeling numb or unable to act.
Fawn: A lesser-known response where we focus on others' needs, people-pleasing to keep peace and avoid conflict. This response often results in neglecting our own needs and can lead to codependency.

Each of these responses can be helpful in specific situations, but they can also become habits that keep us stuck. Recognizing your default response can help you approach stress more mindfully and make conscious choices to support yourself.

Reflection Questions to Understand and Manage Your Stress

One of the most powerful steps in managing stress is self-reflection. The following questions can help you understand what’s behind your stress and reveal steps you can take to alleviate it.

Evaluating the Stressful Situation

Am I genuinely safe right now?
- If the answer is no, take immediate action to ensure your safety. If yes, then the stress may be mental or emotional, rather than a true threat.
What is the stress trying to tell me right now?
- Sit quietly with this question. Your inner voice may reveal insights about boundaries, unmet needs, or suppressed emotions.
What emotion am I feeling underneath this stress?
- Identifying emotions like fear, sadness, or anger can help you process and release them. Take a few moments to breathe deeply and allow the emotion to be present without judgment.
Where am I feeling this emotion in my body?
- Focusing on where the emotion is physically located can help you release tension and stress through mindful breathing.

Unpacking Limiting Beliefs

Our beliefs shape our experience of stress. Reflecting on and challenging these beliefs can open up new ways to experience the world. The questions and process below is called “The Work” and was created by Byron Katie.

Is this belief true? Can I absolutely know that it’s true?
- For example, if you believe, "I will never meet my soulmate," consider whether this belief is 100% true. Often, the answer is no, allowing space for new possibilities.
How do I feel when I believe this thought? How do I react?
- Notice how this belief affects your behaviors, like avoiding social events or not taking care of yourself.
How do I treat myself and others when I believe this thought?
- If you feel defeated or left out, you might avoid others or withdraw. Acknowledging these behaviors can reveal how limiting beliefs impact your actions and relationships.
Who would I be without this thought?
- Visualize a life without this belief. What would you do differently? How would you feel? For example, without the belief, "I’ll never meet my soulmate," you might feel free to enjoy your life as it is and connect with others openly.
Turn the original belief around.
- Change your belief to its opposite: "I will meet my soulmate," "I won’t meet people who aren’t right for me," or "My soulmate won’t meet me if I’m not living my life fully." Notice if this new belief feels more aligned or empowering.

Practical Steps for Managing Stress

Once you’ve reflected on your stress and beliefs, the following steps can help ground and calm you:

Breathe deeply: Focus on making your out-breath longer than your in-breath, which helps calm your nervous system.
Affirm your safety: Place your hands on your heart and say gentle affirmations like, "I am safe," "I am open to support," and "I choose to see this in a new way."
Ground yourself: Feel your body in contact with the ground, whether you’re sitting or lying down. Connecting physically with the earth can help you release stress and center your mind.

Align, Do, Become: Moving Forward with Clarity

Managing stress isn’t just about immediate relief; it’s about aligning with beliefs and actions that empower you. This is the essence of the Align, Do, Become philosophy: aligning with new, empowering beliefs, taking action from a place of clarity, and becoming a version of yourself that feels whole and fulfilled.

When we make choices that align with our true desires, stress naturally lessens. By exploring our beliefs, reconnecting with our values, and making choices that support our well-being, we can approach life’s challenges with confidence and resilience.

Note:
During the podcast I mention two downloads, here are the links below:
1. Discover Your Values pdf
2. Here’s the link to Byron Katie’s questions

Understanding and Managing Stress